Rational Response
In the rational response column, you write down something that addresses the distressing thought but also tries to remove some of the distortions. This is like what the judge is going to say at the end of the trial.
There are three ways to talk back to any thought:
Rational Response #1: “This thought is not true” or “This thought is not totally true.”
For example, you could respond to the distressing thought “No one will ever go out with me” with the rational response “That’s not true, I’ve been on dates before and I can always sign up for on-line dating and send out more e-mails.”
Rational Response #2: “Who cares!” or “It’s not a big deal.”
For example, you could respond to the distressing thought, “I was too quiet at the dinner” with the rational response “It's okay, my friends still seem to like me even though I’m sometimes very quiet.”
Rational Response #3: “There’s something I can do about it.”
For example, you can respond to the distressing thought, “I won’t be able to hold a conversation” with the rational response, “I can practice the social skills techniques, do exposures, and keep practicing until this comes more naturally.”
As you can see from my examples, you’re not actually supposed to use the Rational Responses word for word. Instead, they’re meant to give you a “way” of talking back to Distressing Thoughts.
Continuing the legal analogy, when someone accuses you of something, there are three ways to defend yourself. You can say “The accusation’s not true. It never happened.” Or you can say “OK, the accusation is true, but they are exaggerating the damages.” Or you can say “The accusation is true, and there are damages, but I am already doing things to fix it.”
Many people make the mistake of using just one type of rational response all the time. For example, some people habitually respond “It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true.” But, what if it is true? Sometimes you have to say, “Wait a minute. It’s not a big deal” or “Hold on. There’s something I can do about it.” For example, let's that that I am feeling sad and I write down the thought “Nobody loves me”. Then let’s say as a response I write “Screw them. I don’t care if anybody loves me!” Well, that’s not true. I do care if somebody loves me. Instead I should be saying, “My friends love me, my sister loves me, and my mom loves me.” or “There’s something I can do about this. I can go on more dates and I can make amends with the friend I had a falling out with.” If you are having trouble coming up with a rational response or if you write a response and it sounds hollow, try a different type of response or a different combination of responses instead.
Here are the counterpunches I wrote for my three distressing thoughts:
